It was difficult for me to go from having a set structure-school and work-to none at all. My boyfriends never saw me as a whole because I didn’t let them.Īfter graduating from school, I moved to Los Angeles. I was the perfect-looking girlfriend in the stands at the baseball game or party. But in the city, with my boyfriends, I wore the proverbial mask. I loved sitting in lectures and taking notes. At school I wore no makeup, chain-smoked, and lugged my giant backpack from class to class. I was fractured: one version of myself at home or school, and another in the relationship. I dated actors and athletes 10 years older than me, but none of the relationships was very serious. I studied hard Monday through Thursday in New Haven and then took the Metro North train to New York to audition and-I won’t lie-have fun. At 18, I starred in The Faculty and The Invisible Circus before beginning my freshman year at Yale University.
